Moo Cow Two

I had a Dream
I was Lying in a bed and a man was looking down at me
before i fell asleep again he said, "As  I always say fake it till you make it, Nurse scalpel."
then fell asleep a little worried but hey I trust him.
I was then standing on the beach looking.....just looking
and a man was swimming in the water. He started yelling, "HELP, SHARK, Help."
and I just laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him
A old man then walked up to me as I was laughing and started to give me some strange advice.
He said,
               "first remember that a friend will always help you move, but a best friend will help you move a body.",  
                                He continued

"second if a police dog is chasing you, try not to dive into a tunnel, then on a seesaw, and through a hoop on fire because their trained for that."

"third Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
I pulled out my phone to write this good stuff down and he said laughingly, "I used to get the strangest looks on the bus when I would try and use my phone then again it was 1982."
  I looked up but he was gone that's when I woke up To my psychiatrist saying that some day you just got to fill up the bath tub with skittles and pretend your Godzilla in a ball pit."
I told him, "Life has no remote you got to get up and change it yourself." then dropped the mic and walked out.
So here are some of G-rants life lessons
1. Build a man a fire keep him warm for a day, set a man on fire keep him warm for the rest of his life.
2. People who are rude why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma
3. Don't name your dog "Curiosity" unless you know that none of your neighbors have cats

I found a letter on the floor It wasn't for me but I read it anyway
 
   Dear Fork,
       You Have a Son, His name is Spork.
Love,
   Spoon
                 P.S. He has your hair