Lt. Dan

Lt. Dan was going to be my pen name but the whole class saw it on the big screen when I was making my blog. So yah.

This isn't something Big But it's me

If you watch the whole video congrats you're a great person and a real MVB

But if you get bored halfway through and leave I don't care it ight. It's kinda long and boring so yah 

Grant McColm You don't know 

• I like Chick Flicks 
• I love to do anything
• I spend a lot of time working or in my room playing guitar, trying to draw, writing 
• I actually like my parents their cool and they very lax about homework and grades and don't really yell at me
• I like to star gaze
• I like to just look at the moon
• I like the cold
• I sleep with a fan on my window open year round 
• I love people especially crazy people or outsiders their the most interesting like the people who run to class I want to talk to them but I can't because their running
• like the dude who swings his things around at lunch by the trailers or the dumpster, kinda by the softball field. I mean it's the most ridiculous thing and he's not even embarrassed about it he does it proud, he just puts his headphones on and goes to work. If you don't know who i'm talking about take a trip outside the commons and see him he's pretty kool. 

Bueford The Meiers Cow

Harsh words from the blonde dude

I don't know whats going so yah um yah

I dont know what to write 

I mean I play a a lot of instruments an music 

stuff

but the best way to write it I guess is to be playing it 

Buttz I don't want to make a video of me playing something so yep

Meiers is a Grocery Store and they have a cow named Bueford who sells baby back ribs but they don't pay him cause he's made of plastic

Youtube blocked my "Hi mom" for Copyright infringement  

Moo Cow Two

I had a Dream
I was Lying in a bed and a man was looking down at me
before i fell asleep again he said, "As  I always say fake it till you make it, Nurse scalpel."
then fell asleep a little worried but hey I trust him.
I was then standing on the beach looking.....just looking
and a man was swimming in the water. He started yelling, "HELP, SHARK, Help."
and I just laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him
A old man then walked up to me as I was laughing and started to give me some strange advice.
He said,
               "first remember that a friend will always help you move, but a best friend will help you move a body.",  
                                He continued

"second if a police dog is chasing you, try not to dive into a tunnel, then on a seesaw, and through a hoop on fire because their trained for that."

"third Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
I pulled out my phone to write this good stuff down and he said laughingly, "I used to get the strangest looks on the bus when I would try and use my phone then again it was 1982."
  I looked up but he was gone that's when I woke up To my psychiatrist saying that some day you just got to fill up the bath tub with skittles and pretend your Godzilla in a ball pit."
I told him, "Life has no remote you got to get up and change it yourself." then dropped the mic and walked out.
So here are some of G-rants life lessons
1. Build a man a fire keep him warm for a day, set a man on fire keep him warm for the rest of his life.
2. People who are rude why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma
3. Don't name your dog "Curiosity" unless you know that none of your neighbors have cats

I found a letter on the floor It wasn't for me but I read it anyway
 
   Dear Fork,
       You Have a Son, His name is Spork.
Love,
   Spoon
                 P.S. He has your hair

Dear Little Grant,

I'm just a Guy experiencing God's good green Earth for the first time. You know?

I have a big heart. That's because I'm a big guy, And big guys with big hearts are just big teddy bears, but no one wants to be the big teddy bear.

I make my wishes at 11:12 because the rush has died down and maybe God can hear me a little better.

 And I know God doesn't just stop listening after 11:11.

I like to think of things people my age don't do

I'd tell you some of these things but surprisingly they embarrass me

I like awkward moments in life because they make me happy

sometimes I look at something for a really long like floss at the store and I just look at it

and this is the first time I written a post with the writing in the center

I really like girls because yah

but some guys don't so more for me

I sometimes turn out all the lights in my room so it's dark and I take a lighter and I light it and just stare at the flame

I draw sometimes

I play guitar in my room

I live you know

I have a heart a beating just like not dead people 

so that could be a conversation starter right?

I Love Life 

Dear little Grant,

                      Even though your little right now you still have a big heart. Keep going even though life doesn't get to tough till around 6th grade keep going. Listen to Robert Ota don't be friends with Jordan He's kinda weird and will try to kiss your brother. But apparently he's straight so i dee kay. Move to Utah, it was a good choice you'll really like it. In 8th grade don't be mean to luke he's your brother love him. Don't call him gay all the time it actually hurt him. even though he's straight to. Don't be turd. Quit runescape earlier than 7th grade because it's a waste of life. Middle school was not really okay but could've been worse so I don't want to ruin it by giving you bad advice. don't take band in 7th grade you'll hate it it was really boring. umm 10th grade year go out with someone different it will hurt your friend spence if you don't. 11th grade don't worry you'll kiss someone late but you know it'll happen at least. 

12th grade..................................................

Pharmacist

Blue Ticket "Pharmacist"

The pharmacist fills all the pills day in day out
the pills for high blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, and gout.

He always knows who takes what
his neighbors son takes something not to mention
some pill called anti-excedrin
but it's really for depression

the dudes parents fight a lot
and the word divorce has come up more and more
he just goes to his room and takes his pills and shuts the door

at school he has friends
he hangs out with and talks with and acts happy
but they don't know he takes pills
and to him life is crappy

his parents have their share of problems
and so do the neighbors, and the others down the street
they all go to the pharmacist
and take drugs they never dare repeat

so the pharmacist fills all the pills day in day out
the pills for high blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, and gout.


(stockton this post is for you, not whats written but what it took to write it)

A Tour Guide For Tourists

Since you need help heres a tour guide, something your used to.

First off there's so many people who would like to take this class and who would actually not just show up and put a headphone in their ear and their head in their arms.
So if you take this class because you play football and Nelsons cool, that's fine just actually blog about something good, besides sports. Your whole life is sports I think you could spend like 20 minutes writing a blog other than that. If you play football or took this class because you like Nelson and you actually try, I love you and props to you because your great.

You Know Your A Tourist if.....
  You Just show up.
   You Listen to music in class when your really not supposed to.
  your Not trying at journal or blog.
  you Don't journal jam or volunteer for things.
  your Writing a post before fall break that says, "screw this post I want to chill for fall break."

"i'm not a tourist."
             Dick Nixon

I'll end with a poem I wrote

Moo Cow Moo 
                by. Grant McColm

 My wife said we needed to communicate more so I gave her my email
 thats not what I meant to do but it happened
  All Good Cows Moo Softly, but not all soft mooing cows are good

 So if you try to fail and succeed, what have you done succeeded or failed

 The world tells us to stop running away from our problems but maybe they just don"t understand that our problem is a bear  and if we stop running we'll get shrimped

the fact that i'm still waiting for google earth to get a layer that shows lost kickballs in a neighbors yard is depressing

and why is it that my whole life my Mom has told me I can be whoever I want to be but the police call it identity theft
and the next person to tell me i'm over exaggerating will get stabbed

Dear math,
Grow up solve your own problems.

Hate,
me


All the "experts say that caffeine is bad for you, sugar is bad for you, alcohol is bad for you
   but not to worry because that's bad for you.

so when I die, yes bury me in satin, but on my tomb stone write "did not forward chain mail to five friends."